Once Said Is Always Said
During my years as a forensic psychologist, I have been called upon to work on hundreds of criminal cases of spousal abuse. Occasionally, these cases involved the death of one or both of the partners in the relationship. It goes without saying that if either one of the partners in a relationship are utilizing weapons to injure the other, the relationship is definitely on the rocks, to put it mildly.
What most people don’t know is that the vast majority of damage to relationships involves no physical violence or weapons such as guns or knives. The damage done kills more relationships than physical violence by far. The weapons used to do such damage?
Verbiage!
INXS preforms a song that is one of the songs that I really like called “The Devil Inside” and in it they sing about the frailties of people. At one point in the song they sing a line that expresses my thoughts better than I can, “Words as weapons sharper than knives. Makes you wonder how the other half dies.” When they sing that line, they are referring to women, but I think it also applies to men.
Most of us heard way to many times when we were growing up “Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me.” While that is certainly a mindset we should all strive for, it is rarely the truth. Words hurt more people than any weapon ever created by us. The problem is that many people shoot off their mouths when they feel slighted in some way, spraying toxic verbal bullets that they can never take back.
There is an old saying that you can’t undo what you have done and this is true for your words also. Once you say something you don’t mean, you cannot take it back, no matter what type of apology you issue. A good rule of thumb is to think about what you are going to say, instead of reacting to the situation and letting your frustrations out. Just because you can’t see the damage, does not mean it’s not there.
Do you know the 6 main reasons that relationships fail? Find out by clicking here: Relationship Advice at http://www.honestrelationshipadvice.com
- Eric Menzies
