Six Parenting Tips That Bring About Accountability

Our primary job as an effective parent is to make sure our kids are able to function successfully on their own when they leave the house. Every decision we make should be made with that goal in mind. This knowledge and single-minded focus should help us to navigate the waters of parenting much easier, because we have a definite destination in mind.

Sounds hard? It is really easier than you would think. There are 2 areas where children need direction; problem solving and accountability. Children who are being ornery and basically disrespectful, are telling you that don’t know how to solve a problem. The easier part of effective parenting - go through the actions to identify and solve the problem. Then be sure to add the piece of accountability for the decisions they make, good and bad.

1. Problem solving is a process. Problem solving is difficult, otherwise we wouldn’t have any problems. Many kids with abusive behaviors don’t have the patience for the problem solving process. Parents need to understand the importance of problem solving in the learning process and not do it for the child. The time to start is when they’re young, because the problems are more easily solved then, even though the child may feel like they’re monumental. As they get older, they will be more able to solve the bigger problems if they’ve had experience with the smaller ones when they were young.

2. Coach them forward. All good coaches know that they can get the best out of their players if they stick to business and not to emotion. This too is our goal as effective parents. Being patient as we encourage them through this learning process will pay off in spades for them as adults.

3. Do as I do, not as I say. What? Yep that is how it really works. Your actions and words of course need to match. But if they don’t, they are going to copy what you do. Calmly handling life’s curveballs as their little eyes observe is your best teaching technique. Also let them start fending for themselves as soon as possible. Pushing the elevator button may seem like kids play, and looking at the directory to find the floor you need first, empowers them with life skills.

4. Provide strategic help and solutions. Only give them things they can handle. Offer supportive assistance along the way, don’t criticize them, and most importantly of all, don’t do it for them. As tempting as this may be, you need to let them succeed or fail on their own. We all know it’s easier to load the dishwasher or make the kids bed than to try to get them to do it, but what does that teach them?

5. Encourage exploration and experimentation. As they get to be a teen, you need to let them try out their own ideas for problem-solving and encourage and praise their resourcefulness.

6. Keep setbacks and failures in perspective. This is life in a nutshell. Both experiences provide fertile ground for ongoing training. Look at these as opportunities that they are and you win. Calm and steady as you go and they win too.

Parenting is a daunting task, especially when it comes to teenagers. Hopefully, these tips will help you to have the most effective parenting skills possible.

Source: Parenting